“The maintenance and enhancement of the perceived self are the motives behind all behavior.” – A.W. Combs
Read this a few times until it sticks with you. Another way to say it might be: “All behavior exists to maintain and enhance who you believe yourself to be.”
At church on Wednesday night, I asked our teenagers to go around the circle, one at a time, and give me one of their strengths. First, they did this for themselves. The second time around the circle, I asked them to give me a perceived strength of someone else. It was a great exercise and I was very proud of how they handled it.
But do you know what’s interesting? It was much easier for each of them to find a strength in someone else than it was for them to give me a strength of their own. And I don’t believe this was false humility – I believe that the younger generations have a genuinely low self-image and at times cannot see their own strengths. (This exists in older generations as well; however, I believe that we have accidentally taught them to hold a low self-image and have failed to teach them how to see themselves in a better light)
Alan Loy McGinnis, in his book “Bringing Out the Best in People” says, “It is very dangerous to allow people to declare themselves publicly on negative aspects of themselves.” This is a temptation in all of us. How many times have we heard statements such as, “I’m terrible at math,” or “I’m having a bad hair day,” or “I can’t seem to get my time under control.” Verbal defamation of our own character hurts in so many ways, and doesn’t help in the least. If we would like to change our self-image issues, the first step is to stop these deprecating statements.
We must be very careful and very intentional when we speak about ourselves. It’s one thing to think bad things about ourselves, but it’s another thing entirely to give those statements breath and life. For one, we’ve all heard the Scripture that “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Given, some people have taken this too far (thinking that speaking the words, “I want a new car” will magically make one appear in the parking lot), but that misconception doesn’t take the truth away from this Proverb. When we allow something negative past our minds, fail to take it captive according to the truth of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:3-5), and give it life by putting words behind it, we have given life to death.
The first way to combat this is to change our inputs – be intentional about positive self-talk that reassures our spirits with the promises of God. Read Scripture, watch inspirational media, associate with people who speak encouragement to you instead of those who focus on sarcasm and complaints. Change your thought patterns by changing what you’re putting into your brain.
If all behavior exists to maintain and enhance who you believe yourself to be, then it’s time to change who you believe yourself to be.
Chris Craft
The Soapbox 