The title to this one might seem misleading if taken literally. It’s impossible for us to actually create time, right?
Well, maybe not.
We always have the easy excuse of “busy-ness” and “having too little time.” But really, these excuses betray our true reasons almost immediately (most of the time): we just didn’t prioritize the events, people, or causes we say we do.
The way we spend our money and time exposes a lot about what we believe and what we enjoy/care about. If I spend all of my time on Rocket League and never give my wife any of my attention, she has every right to believe that I care more about Rocket League than I do about her. Now, let’s do something that will make everyone reading this blog uncomfortable (especially, statistically, the males reading this blog): replace the video game “Rocket League” with “work.”
If I spend all of my time on my career or job, and pay very little attention to my wife, it becomes obvious that I care more about work than I do my wife.
Does that make your skin crawl?
“But Micah, I work hard to provide my wife an awesome lifestyle and a great big house and a nice car!” Did she ask for those things or have you decided she wants a nice house more than she wants time with you?
This blog post comes down to a word: prioritize. If we fail to make something a priority, chances are that is betraying how much we care about it. This doesn’t mean that if you aren’t prioritizing your marriage that you should just give it up because you don’t care anymore. That would go against everything God says about marriage.
It means that you should realize how much time you are devoting to work, hobbies, or your marriage and align those priorities with your goals.
Want a good marriage? Spend more time with your spouse and work through the issues that might stand between you. Prioritize your marriage.
Want to make more money? Spend more time at your job or on your career or learn more skills that can create the extra income you want to earn. Prioritize growing and learning to boost your value to your job or your clients.
Want to have more time for your hobbies? Take the time. The last thing anyone wants to hear is how much you wish you could get back into x hobby that you used to do. Do x hobby. Get back into painting. Pick the guitar back up. Join a city sports team. Go back to church. Just do whatever it is you keep saying you want to do. If you aren’t making time for it, then chances are it’s either not the season for it, or it just isn’t a part of your life anymore (and that’s not always a bad thing).
I like making time for my friends. I like making time for my wife. I like making time for my family. So, I do. I intentionally take the time to see my friends, family, and, especially, my wife every week. I make time to see them and get time with them.
If you don’t ever make time, plan, or prioritize, then chances are you are wasting time that could be better used towards the goals you claim you have. Sit down with a planner if that’s your thing. Sit down with your spouse, text your friends, and call your parents and plan to spend time together. If you fly by the seat of your pants, you’ll typically end up causing your goals to crash and burn.
Believe me, this is the hardest lesson for me, too. It’s so easy to expect things to just happen. It’s easier to sit by your phone scrolling Facebook waiting for your friend to text you to ask you to hang out. But what if they’re doing the same thing? It becomes a quiet night for both of you. Just send the text first.
Prioritize, initiate, and plan ahead. That’s how you end up actually accomplishing the goals you keep talking about. Stop talking and just do something.
Micah Davis
The Soapbox 